Thursday, July 13, 2006

Handy tip #56

For the guys in the audience:

If you ever find yourself getting an unwanted boner, here's a useful tip courtesy of my darling M:

Do long multiplication in your head. It'll go away in a jiffy.

When long multiplication becomes too easy, try long division.

(I'm high on BC bud right now, so jokes may appear funnier than they are.)


Blogger DeepItalianEyes said...

What boner is ever unwanted, thats my opinion, if I unexpectedly spring some wood, I dont care who sees it. Hurry up and pass that thing that you are smoking on.

8:42 AM  
Blogger LocuTus of Borg said...

LOL Deep

You know I learned that trick some time ago to keep from cumming. When having a good session, I would do multiplication in my head to stop from cumming yet still enjoying the moment. Funny.

11:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm - I'll have to try it in that situation. Thanks for the tip.


5:11 PM  
Blogger rudpornwatcher45 said...

Sometimes I get too stoned to get a "nut". We'll get stoned together, and decide to go to bed. We strip, and caress, I go head to head w/her and slowly, kiss my way down her body to her breasts, whhere kiss and suckle her nipples, and she is doing the same to me, I descend to the navel, the center of her beautiful form, my fat belly grazing the tip of her nose and my penis resting on her forehead, I slide my penis side to side, as my tongue glides over her lower tummy, down to her untrimmed bush, that heavenly jungle of her love.
I lick the top of the bush, and push my tongue into her warm flesh and the soft, wiry smoothness of her hair. When I slide down to the vertical lips, my member and balls drag across my lover's face, and she opens her mouth and takes just the head between her warm lips and gives me an intense suck, of about three or four waves of negative pressure, that almost make me blow my "nut".
I slide down past where her mouth can reach my erection, and I begin to lave her pussy with my flexible and wanting tongue. I eat for a while, until she cumms at least one time, and I drink in her juices as a thirsty man would suck the first few swallows of water, sort of clean up the excess, and turn around and with dispatch (did you hear 'dispatch'?) I lick my way back to her face, with a slow down at her belly button, to lick up the accumulated sweat, and two side trips to the mounds of mother, back between and I lick around her neck to each ear.
My hips have not been idle, my penis awaiting penetration, as I swing my butt from side to side on its descent to her furry place, that is wet and waiting for me to enter. Her legs are spreeaaddd, and she shifts her hips upward from the back, presenting me with her gash of love (couldn't resist that one), my erection, coming closer, and finally touching, pushing against her clitoris.
Her hand curls around my hot hard one, and directs it downward to the wet warm opening, and I swivel my hips forward, pushing my erection in to her love canal, just a little ways, she's so tight, that it takes me a couple of strokes, to get to the bottom of her cock grasping sheath.
As I enter, she draws a sharp breath, and holds it until I'm all the way in, as I start to slide back she exhales, and relaxes her muscles just slightly, and I pull out until just the head is in and her pussy tightens around my hard man meat. I stroke back in, sliding against that wet, warm cavern of heat and heaven.
We screw for a while, and everytime I get close to cumming, at which time she does, again and again, until she's getting close to stopping, I pull out and lick her pussy back to wetness, and then I start to fuck her again, and this time I feel it build, that familiar tingling at the base, swelling w/ a hot desire to blow my cream into her begging pussy and after a few more plunges into her hot depth, I feel her cervix start to open for my tool, as soon as I touch those inner lips, my man meat begins to throb with the rush of man love into her loving pussy.
And sometimes, I start laughing, from deep down below, after ejaculation, I just start laughing with the sheer pleasure of having sex. When I do that (the laughing) I call it a climax, all the other times, I just cummm.

6:22 PM  
Blogger The Fury said...

I usually try imagining a very gruesome looking co-worker naked or even worse, just think about your grandparents. eewwwww boner gone!

5:43 PM  

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