Saturday, April 22, 2006


I mentioned a few days ago that sometimes I think about licking pussy more than I think about sucking cock.

This is not one of those times.

Right now, there is nothing I would like better than my lover's cock in my mouth. His gorgeous, thick, cut cock, all hard and warm and...

Ahem. Where was I?

I really do love giving head. I can't remember if I've talked about this before. Probably. In any case, it's been a fun and frequent activity of mine in the past. I've been the aggressor in almost all of my relationships to date, and that means I've given a lot of blowjobs, and I think I was pretty good at it. I certainly didn't get any complaints; in fact, I believe I was called a "goddess" on at least one occasion.

However, my last relationship before M, (D, if you remember) changed all that. He had a truly intimidating array of hang-ups, some of which not even I could conquer. One of those was his guilt at receiving oral sex. We were together for over a year, and I think I made him come exactly once from oral, and I could probably count on two hands the number of times he came, period, in my presence. I don't think it was my fault, since I've had my share of partners and none of them had any trouble in that department. It was all in his head.

I'm sure you can imagine, though, the havoc this wreaked on my self-esteem. All the questions began to deluge me: am I not sexy enough? do I not pay enough attention to what he likes? is my pussy too loose? am I a lousy lover? The thing that took the biggest hit, however, was my confidence in my oral skills. I got so sick and tired of blowing him to absolutely no effect that I just stopped. I decided I must have suddenly lost my touch: a very depressing realization.

I think that in the end, what became a very unsatisfactory love life was a big reason for us breaking up this January. When I hooked up with M, I was pretty relieved to be reminded that I wasn't, in fact, as bad in bed as my previous relationship had lead me to believe. My oral skills, however, had taken a permanent hit. I just didn't feel confident enough to put myself out there. I was too afraid that he wouldn't like what I did, so I barely tried.

I'm ready to change that. We only have a few more nights together before I move to the West Coast, and I'm determined to spend as much of that time as possible with his cock in my mouth.


And with that, I will be MIA for the next two weeks or so, while I do some travelling and then ship my computer to my new summer abode. I should have a backlog of fresh writing to post by then.


And to finish, a gratuitous sexy shot. Catch y'all on the flip side.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

HNT #6 - Back in the game

From the aforementioned photography session with M. This is his favourite shot, and I think it's mine, too.


Wednesday, April 19, 2006


I have a request from M for a fantasy in written form, since I'm so damn shy at talking about them out loud. Strangely enough, I can't think of anything! Ok...not true. I can think of things. Just nothing that can be fulfilled by just one guy. Like:

- a gangbang. I had this dream where I got sent to jail, and waiting for me in my cell was a whole bunch of guys waiting to fuck me. I distinctly remember thinking that jail wasn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be.

- a MFF threesome. Though I'm not specifically attracted to women, I'm SO curious as to what it's like to fool around with one. There are times when I think more about licking pussy than I do about sucking cock. Plus, a threesome is just something I really need to stroke off my sexual to-do list.

- double penetration. This fantasy has been on my mind forever. I've never even been fucked in the ass (objects, yes, but never a penis) but I want it. I'm sure it would blow my mind.

I've already told him I want to get a strap-on and do him in the ass. He politely declined.

Monday, April 17, 2006

This war of love

How she learned to flush love letters down the toilet, to leave no hairs on the borrowed comb, to gather up hair pins, to erase traces of lipstick anywhere, to brush off clouds of face powder.

Her eyes like the eyes of a spy.

Her habits like the habits of a spy. How she lay all her clothes on one chair, as if she might be called away suddenly and must not leave any traces of her presence.

She knew all the trickeries in this war of love.

(Anais Nin - A Spy in the House of Love)

I am in love. Again.

At first, it was just lust, and I liked it that way. After years of falling tumultuously in and out of love (that fucking open manhole, as Chelsea Girl put it once), I wanted something pure and simple, something uncomplicated. You're hot, I'm horny, let's fuck. None of that relationship girlfriend boyfriend bullshit.

I've had clingy, possessive, moody boys, and I hated it and ate it up in equal measures. I both enjoyed and despised being desired. But I always fell for it. I loved their insecurities, their vulnerability. I loved their messy, complicated selves because they loved me back. But at the same time, I resented the implied ownership of being a girlfriend. I was always ready to flee, and flee I did.

It still amazes me, the utter ease with which I dropped one man in exchange for another. It sounds so callous, and I suppose it is, but a total absence of emotion has accompanied almost all of my breakups. Numbness takes over, and that man I loved, comforted, clung to in bed, becomes a distant, painless memory. There are some I have loved and now barely remember. Somewhere, though, the experience lingers, and I feel it like a callous on my heart.

Of course, there's the flip side: the ones that stay with you. My first love/fuck will forever be seared into my brain. A long-distance lover, whom I hurt badly, still lives there too, making sure I never make the same mistakes again.

Do I even know what love is? Can it be love if I treat it with such disregard? I don't know. I know that whatever I feel is real, no matter which label I put on it. It's starting to take its toll, though. The scar tissue on my heart is becoming difficult to pierce.

Pierce it he has, though. He called me his girlfriend and I knew it had started. Then we really connected, that one night, and I knew this was something. Maybe just really great sexual chemistry, but something. I've only gone deeper since then. I didn't really want this, this complicated love thing, not again. Not now. But here it is, and you don't say no to love. Even if it is a war, sometimes.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Adora, the middle-of-exams edition

I want my HNT!

I've neglected to post any HNT pics for the past two weeks. I really miss it, but exams are draining my creativity, and I'm basically out of stockpiled shots. It's frustrating, too, taking all my pictures myself. There's only so much you can do with a self-timer.

That's why, this weekend, M and I will be taking pictures of each other. We're both closet exhibitionists (oh, the irony) and it's a fun and sexy way to spend time together. He still doesn't know about the blog, so none of his pics will end up here, but mine sure will!

In other news, I'll be travelling for school from April 23 to May 2, and shortly thereafter I'll be moving across the country to the West Coast for the summer. I'll probably be quiet for two weeks or so. Once I get to my summer abode, however, expect plenty of fantasy writing. Since I'm leaving M behind, I'll have to satisfy myself in ways that don't include a flesh-and-blood partner.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

That time of year again...

I've been making myself scarce for the past week or so, mostly because it's exam time and I need to spend a lot of time studying. However, it's also the time of year when my parents go away on vacation, leaving me alone in the house (if that's where I happen to be living at the time.) And of course, when the cats are away, the mice will play!

I've used that phrase so often in the past little while that M has taken to calling my parents "the cats." Ahem.

Yes, yes, the mice have been playing. I had the most lovely debauched three days before my first exam, then we went our separate ways while the educational machine had its way with us. Tonight we're reconvening to continue what we started.

I believe the rope may be involved.

Monday, April 03, 2006

A brief break

I'd just like to announce that I met one of my heroes tonight.

Romeo Dallaire.

I shook his hand. He signed my book. I can die happy now.

(I realize that this may compromise my identity somewhat. I don't care. I'm thrilled.)

Back to your regularily scheduled sexual programming - check out the Sugasm below.

Sugasm #28

The best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them.

Thoughts on Sex: Sex Commentary, Sex Advice, Blogging

All About Oral: Odor, Etiquette, and Why Some Women Don’t Want It(cuntinglinguist.blogspot.com)
Anatomy Lessons Part 2 (swelteringcelt.com)
And it Burns, Burns, Burns… (sexeteria.blogspot.com)
Classic S Spot - More on Masturbation (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)
Damn Leeches! (anawtymouz.blogspot.com)
His Addiction (onaniajournal.blogspot.com)
Love Conquers Some But Not All (realadultsex.com)
Pussy on the Loose (taratainton.com)

Funny / Sex News / Grab Bag

10 Lies Pornographers Tell (sugarbank.com)
Angelina Puts Collagen Rumors to Bed (tgp.com)
I Bet You Didn’t Know the Ancient Greeks Had Strap-ons… (tirepaddle.com)
Last Night Dick Slipped… (janeluvsdick.com)
Sex in the News - Celebrity Sex Tales (seskuality.com)
Shit Week (nakedloftparty.com)

Reviews and Interviews

Interview with Sophia (chillivanilla.com/blg/)
Sugarjoy Review: Xervious Anime Labs (sugarjoy.com)

BDSM and Fetish

Always Ready… (seanandmel.blogspot.com)
Bath Time (ropegirl.blogspot.com)
Daddy’s Little Girl (redvelvetropeburn.blogspot.com)
Edging (sheenv.blogspot.com)

Learning the Ropes (avaadora.blogspot.com)
Missing the Kink (mnsss.blogspot.com)
Put in Place I (lifeashis.com)
Recurring Springtime Fantasy (aliferestarted.blogspot.com)
Redemption - Part II (nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)
Tied Down and Spanked (auntyagony.net)


Ariel X Again and Again… (eroticandy.blogspot.com)
Christine Young Review (internetisforporn.com)
Free Pics (seska4lovers.com)
Maddi and Rene on Sapphic Erotica (simply-sapphicerotica.com)
Mim shot by Penelope for Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com)
Mirrors (pspporn.com)
Misato by Yousoudo for Met-Art (sensualarousalblog.com)
Naughty, Nasty HNT! (sexblogthis.blogspot.com)
Sunshine (lumpesse.com)

Erotica/Erotic Experiences

Between the Biker & the Wall (bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com)
Cock Tease (sexyukgirl.blogspot.com)
First Meeting (secretsofadirtygirl.blogspot.com)
Hard Fucking (everythingoze.blogspot.com)
I Saw. I Came. I was Conquered. (theholidaylife.blogspot.com)
Last Night (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com)
Magically Delicious (fourstate.blogspot.com)
Masturbating in the Car (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)
Masturbation and Memories (philosophyofbeing.blogspot.com)
Please, I Would Love A Kiss (suburbansexpot.blogs.com)
Secret Reads: The Roommate (secretbrain.blogspot.com)
Shhh… Do You Hear That? (v-boat.blogspot.com)
Snatched Moments (gentlygently.blogspot.com)
Sunday Sweetness (antisojo.livejournal.com)
When He Watches (tangysweet.blogspot.com)


From Fantasy to Reality (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)
Kicking Myself In The Ass (stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)
Life with an Easy Girlfriend (hotcouple.co.uk)

Sex Work

Packing for a Spanking Shoot (adelehaze.com)
Wearing Your Inner Vixen (tinastrangeworld.blogspot.com)

Announcements and Sex Politics

Britney Spears Pro-Life Statue (spiritsex.blogspot.com)
Jorge Rivas (sugarpit.com)
New Book Review (cakenyc.com)

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