Thursday, March 30, 2006

HNT #5 - More Sun

Another sunlight + post-shower picture. I'm following the theme of showing my butt today, since that seems like a popular thing to do (and since you guys just missed out on it last week.) I'm taking a picture of a reflection of a reflection here. There are a lot of mirrors in that room.


Wednesday, March 29, 2006

A word about my name

I named my blog Ava Adora. I go by the name Adora. I have no idea why.

Well, actually, I know why. I was obsessed with the song "Ava Adore" by the Smashing Pumpkins, and I was under the mistaken impression that it was, in fact, called "Ava Adora." That's what I get for obtaining all my music from illegitimate sources, I suppose.

I started off calling myself Ava, which at least made a modicum of sense, but decided I didn't like the sound of it. So I went with Adora instead. So now "Ava" is a curious little appendage at the beginning of my pseudonym, and I have no idea what it means or what it's really doing there. For someone who usually over-analyses things to a tiresome degree, this unknown is uncomfortable.

As odd as it is, I don't want to change it, now that I'm starting to be known by it. Besides, I still like the song. It's where my little tagline comes from, albeit modified. So I'm sticking with it. I've gotten a few emails from people addressing me as "Ava," though, so for the record, my name is Adora.

I used to post song lyrics here when I couldn't think of anything to write. I haven't done that in a while, but it's perhaps appropriate by way of explaination for my meaningless name to post the lyrics for "Ava Adore."

It's you that I adore
You'll always be my whore
You'll be a mother to my child
And a child to my heart

We must never be apart
We must never be apart

Lovely girl, you're the beauty in my world
Without you, there aren't reasons left to find
And you'll pull your crooked teeth
You'll be perfect just like me
You'll be a lover in my bed
And a gun to my head

We must never be apart
We must never be apart

Lovely girl, you're the murder in my world
Dressing coffins for the souls I've left to die
Drinking mercury to the mystery
Of all that you should ever leave behind
In time

In you I see dirty
In you I count stars
In you I feel so pretty
In you I taste God
In you I feel so hungry
In you I crash cars

We must never be apart

Drinking mercury to the mystery
Of all that you should ever seek to find
Lovely girl, you're the murder in my world
Dressing coffins for the souls I've left behind
In time

We must never be apart
And you'll always be my whore
'Cause you're the one that I adore
And you'll pull your crooked teeth
You'll be perfect just like me

In you I feel so dirty
In you I crash cars
In you I feel so pretty
In you I taste God

We must never be apart

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Learning the ropes

M let me tie him up a few nights ago. I say "let" because it was all too clear that he maintained the upper hand, despite being bound hand and foot, blindfolded, and stretched out naked on his bed. It was fun, though, despite a significant amount of nervousness on my part.

A couple of moments stand out.

I stood over him and dripped hot wax from a paraffin candle onto his taut belly, his chest, his thighs. I loved watching him, tensing as he waited for the drop to fall, unsure of where it would land, and then squirming most delightfully when it did. I put my hand over it to ease the burning and then began again.

I straddled him and ran an ice cube over his wax-encrusted torso, feeling him shudder as I passed over particularily sensitive patches. I must say, he was a bit bossy for a captive, directing me here and there, althought he always said please, which was nice. I lamented the lack of an effective gag a few times, but to be honest I like his forthrightness, even if he was topping from the bottom.

I discovered that he likes his nipples licked, not lightly like I do, but hard, with a flat tongue. He began to pant a bit, telling me breathlessly that he could feel it in his cock, like I was licking that instead of his nipple, and I could feel it swell under me as proof. My hand wandered to my clit. "I'm touching myself," I said, "I'm so wet." A groan was his only reply.

His cock was rock hard, and I let it graze my cunt, teasing him and myself. He started to beg me: "Please, please, let me penetrate you." My god, it was fucking hot. I went on like this for a while, me barely touching him and him literally begging for it. Finally, finally I gave it to him, but painfully slowly, my cunt swallowing him incrementally.

It was some of the most intense sex I've ever had.

An hour or two later he let me have it for teasing and torturing him, taking me roughly from behind and anchoring himself with fistfuls of my hair. "Ride that cock," he growled fiercely as I pushed myself back towards him like a rutting animal.

Again, some of the most intense sex I've ever had.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Sugasm #27

The best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them.


HNT #4 - Assume the Position (avaadora.blogspot.com)
I Don’t Mind it Rough (tangysweet.blogspot.com)
Kneeling (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)
Making Love in the Rain Revisited (redvelvetropeburn.blogspot.com)
Monde Imaginaire (theninthwave.typepad.com)
The Notorious Bettie Page (sugarbank.com)
Sadist Taking What is His (theheronclan.blogspot.com)
Spanking Site Review: Bars and Stripes (adelehaze.com)
Thigh High Boots (video) (thebootcam.com)
Training and Surrender (aliferestarted.blogspot.com)
Choices - Part Five (masterenigma.blogspot.com)
D/s Correspondence (barbiebaby09.livejournal.com)

Erotica/Erotic Experiences

In Three Minds (orpheusmind.blogspot.com)
My Ultimate Fantasy (gentlygently.blogspot.com)
The Slow Fuck (secretsofadirtygirl.blogspot.com)
Teen Lesbians Brittney and Avril on Sapphic Erotica (simply-sapphicerotica.com)
The Vixxen Chronicles - Walking Funny, Pt. 3 (unfetteredcravings.blogspot.com)
Welcome To My Fantasy (herknees.org)
Coach T… Ch. 5 (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com)
Dear Pussy (secretbrain.blogspot.com)

Sex Work

I am now a sex worker (lumpesse.com)
Half-Nekkid: Topless and Thinking (sabrinainstockings.com)
Mothers and Prostitutes Don’t Mix (taratainton.com)


Going Home (theholidaylife.blogspot.com)
Single Double (damnjezebel.com)
Women Aren’t the Only Complex Creatures (seanandmel.blogspot.com)
Caught Kissing in the Copier Room (anawtymouz.blogspot.com)


Save the Date! NYC Perverts’ Saloon - Monday, April 3rd (viviane212.blogspot.com)
Twilight + Thebes Podcast Discusses Paddles + Devil Girl Sushi Table (tirepaddle.com)


Gracie on Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com)
My Sister’s Best Friend Review (internetisforporn.com)
I Feel Myself - The Art of Orgasm (sensualarousalblog.com)
Oops, I forgot. The word of the day is “moisture” (realadultsex.com)
Sincerely LaRue (eroticandy.blogspot.com)
S Spot Hentai Links (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)

Thoughts on Sex: Sex Commentary, Sex Advice, Blogging

Faking (v-boat.blogspot.com)
Fingering (sexyukgirl.blogspot.com)
Long Ass POST! (alphadominablog.com)
Twats and Knives: Together at Last (cuntinglinguist.blogspot.com)
Variety Act (seska4lovers.com)
Advice - Tasting Yourself (seskuality.com)
Anatomy Lessons Part 1 (swelteringcelt.com)
Come (sexeteria.blogspot.com)

Sex News / Grab Bag

For the Youthful-Looking Cooter You Deserve (tgp.com)
Mardi Gras Spanking (auntyagony.net)
Profaning the sacred (sexblo.gs)
They’ve Went and Bottled the Pussy! (suburbansexpot.blogs.com)
Tom Cruise’s Cock (sugarpit.com)
Charges Dropped in Teacher Sex Scandal (spiritsex.blogspot.com)
Dress Up Britney Spears (sugarjoy.com)


Killing An Erection (radicalvixen.com)
after a few shots… (janeluvsdick.com)

Join the Sugasm

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

HNT #4 - Assume the position

Ah, Half-Nekkid Thursday again! I must say, I really look forward to Wednesday evenings -- come home, fire up the machine and decide which picture to post from my little stash.

This time, it's me ripping off the cover of the Secretary DVD. I mentioned yesterday that it's my favourite movie; it really cemented my interest in BDSM. I have wished, in the past, for a man like Mr. Grey -- firm, harsh, clearly dominant. Someone to submit to without a thought -- someone with such charisma and force of character that to not submit is unthinkable. I still wish for that sometimes, but I've realized that this movie is a fantasy. Perhaps men like him exist, but they are few, and my chances of meeting one are slim to none.

The inimitable Mistress Matisse recently posted an email from a woman searching for a dominant man, and I really recognized myself in that woman's words. I, too, have had no trouble finding vanilla men, but truly dominant ones are more difficult. I've had a few who were willing to go there, but they were always too unsure, too inhibited, too unoriginal. I always ended up topping from the bottom, and that's no fun. I'm shy in person, and I need someone to force me to go places that I might not go on my own. Like the woman in the email, I'm looking for a man worth submitting to.

I've done some thinking recently, and I've come to the conclusion that in M, I may have found that man. This realization dawned on me slowly. At first, when he bit me or fucked me hard, I made all the appropriate noises but thought to myself, yeah, he can inflict pain, but can he dominate? I thought not -- it wasn't nearly what I thought it could be, in my fantasies. It just hurt.

But slowly, slowly, I began to give myself to him. He would bite my nipples hard, and instead of dwelling on the pain or the irrational fear that he would rip them off, I would feel the pain and then release it, thinking, what does it matter if it hurts? My nipples are his, he can do what he wants with them. And in response, my cunt would open like a flower and my heart would inch ever-so-slightly closer to his. I realized that just as he must learn to dominate, I must learn to be submissive. It's not enough to just lie there and take it -- I have to give of myself before my fantasies can be fulfilled. There are still some things, intense things, he does where I lose my concentration and just grit my teeth at the pain, but I'm learning, and that's part of the fun.


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Coming clean

I am debating -- have been for a while -- whether to give M the address of this blog. He knows I write one and he knows it's anonymous, but I haven't told him what I write about.

On one hand, I really don't want to tell him. I love the total freedom, the ability to truly write whatever I want without fear of reprisal. I don't want to censor myself at all here, because it's become a form of therapy (or would be if I posted more often.) If I write about something, I can jettison it from my mind -- if it's a bad thought it no longer bothers me, and if it's a good (but distracting) thought I can get it out of my head and actually get some school work done.

I intend to, and have, used the writing here to work through my sexuality, both the vanilla and the kinky. I want to understand the deep, freaky parts of myself, and I'm worried that if I know someone intimate to me in my real life is reading, I might be afraid to go there. I'm also a little worried about how he'd feel about the things I disclose about our sex life -- I do get a little graphic about my partners here. Also, my stories are true in essence but not always in detail (I sometimes melt several sessions into one) and I don't want someone nit-picking with "that's not how it happened."

Finally, there's the possiblity that he could out me, accidentally or on purpose. As a financially-challenged, ostenibly virginal Christian student still living with her parents, I can't afford to be disowned because of my salacious writing, so I guard my anonymity fiercely. You have to be extremely trustworthy and open-minded before you're allowed to link my real-life identity to my online one, and although I have no real reason to doubt him, I've only known him two months.

On the other hand, the tempation is strong to show him exactly what kind of a sexual creature I am. I am not a virginal Christian -- I'm a slut in the best sense of the word, hungry and eager for his cock. I write about sex -- I spread my mind and my legs on the 'net for the world to see, if they so desire. I'm an exhibitionist, a masochist, a submissive. I post naked (or half-nekkid) pictures of myself. I fantasize about being a model for hogtied.com. My favourite movie is Secretary. If he wants to know exactly what he's getting with me, here's the place for him to find out.

I'm not just the bookish girl in the glasses and sweatshirt or his vanilla girlfriend -- I'm something more, something other. I am not what I seem! I'm dying to tell him this, to lay it out on the table for him to see. But I'm shy. The words stick in my mouth and he has to draw them out of me, slowly and painfully. For all my sluttish tendencies, my online boldness, I am still not comfortable talking, audibly, about sex. Giving him this web address would make it easier to communicate -- in fact, it would be like giving him an all-access pass to the X-rated parts of my brain. That's tremendously appealing, but it's the easy way out. It's also scary as hell. I'm so used to editing myself for safe consumption; can I really show him the freaky parts and trust him to accept them?

This post is all over the place -- I tried to give it structure but I think it just ended up as a random smattering of angsty thoughts. I haven't decided what to do yet; I'll probably give it a few more months, unless it tumbles unbidden out of my mouth one day and all these considerations will be moot. But I realized something as I wrote this: whatever happens, I refuse to sublimate my desires any longer. I'll tell him -- somehow.


Having sex is a lovely, fun thing. But sometimes, it causes health problems. Unlovely, unfun health problems.

I get UTIs -- a lot. I was really prone to them when I was a pre-teen, sometimes barely finishing a course of antibiotics before the next infection set it. I had blood tests, ultrasounds and even a cytoscopy to determine the cause before being told I would eventually grow out it. I did -- and promptly grew back into them when I became sexually active at 18.

I get them so often now that I don't even go to the doctor anymore. I just self-medicate with a ton of water and cranberry supplements and hope for the best. It usually works, but this latest infection hung on for weeks, seeming to clear up and then flaring up again.

Then, this Saturday morning, after a night of very enthusiastic sex, I woke up to a palpable ache in my lower back. Uh oh -- kidney infection. I had played the dangerous game of not seeking medical attention for my infection and now it had gone too far. I went to the walk-in clinic at school, expecting confirmation of my self-diagnosis. The lady doctor did the dipstick-in-the-urine test and gave me the not-unwelcome but puzzling news: not only did I not have a kidney infection, I didn't even have a bladder infection! My water and cranberry ritual must have worked, but what was causing this lower back pain? Turns out, I had a sex-induced condition of another kind...

I laid down on the table and she pushed her fingers into my side. "Kidney," she said, pushing. Nothing. "Obliques," and she pushed again. Ouch! That hurt! "Ah -- muscles." My enthusiastic sex must have completely messed up my back muscles; it has to be that, because I haven't partaken of any other athletic activities in, oh, eons.

So now I have to stretch before sex. How romantic: "Wait a few minutes, honey, I have to limber up first." It's not a seductive kind of stretching, either: knees to your chest, then to the opposite shoulder. It's more like an awkward can-can. So the moral of the story is: a) no internet self-diagnosis from now on, and b) stop doing sexual acrobatics that my body clearly can't handle. Again, ouch.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

HNT #3

Fresh from the shower, I noticed the really beautiful winter afternoon light coming through the california shutters, so I grabbed my camera and took a few shots.

I'm wearing nothing but a few rectangles of sunlight... (That counts as half-nekkid, right?)


(I only got the St. Paddy's Day memo right this second and sadly I have no shots containing green. But rest assured, I will be drinking plenty of green beer on Friday!)

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Sugasm #25

The best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them, categorized.

Posts with NSFW pics are in italics.


The Partistes (seska4lovers.com…)
Shibaricon: World’s Premiere Annual Pansexual Exhibition 2006 (spiritsex.blogspot.com…)
Stat-Aholic (shaysotherspot.blogspot.com…)
SugarClick Launched (sugarbank.com…)


The Dreaded Scottish Cockblock (jundercovers.blogspot.com…)
The Four of Us (herknees.org…)
Killing an Afternoon (secretsofadirtygirl.blogspot.com…)
Losing M (v-boat.blogspot.com…)
Resistance is Futile (avaadora.blogspot.com…)
Underground (domequeen.blogspot.com…)


Eagle (barbiebaby09.livejournal.com…)
Exhaling (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com…)
Hot Sugar and Wet Silk (tangysweet.blogspot.com…)
On the Dock (Fiction) (bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com…)
Saturday with Adele (theholidaylife.blogspot.com…)
Stormy Night (gentlygently.blogspot.com…)
Tandem Massages (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com…)
25 Words or Less (realadultsex.com…)
Babysitter (drtycplinva.blogspot.com…)
Body Language (chaosnoir.blogspot.com…)

Can I Play with it Now? (4dirtylaundry.blogspot.com…)


Jane likes to teeter totter. (janeluvsdick.com…)
Santorum (radicalvixen.com…)
This is what Happens… (damnjezebel.com…)
We All Have AIDS (sugarpit.com…)
The Cock Interviews: Part Two (secretbrain.blogspot.com…)

Fetish & BDSM

A Long Hot Soak and Burning Candles (redvelvetropeburn.blogspot.com…)
Interesting Interactions (lifeashis.com…)
New Elena Spanking Pics (tirepaddle.com…)
On a Power Trip (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com…)
The Perfect Fetish Photo (adelehaze.com…)
“The sweetest thing I ever saw, was you asleep and dreaming.” (eternalapprentice.blogsome.com…)
Choices - Part Three (masterenigma.blogspot.com…)


House of Babalon (eroticandy.blogspot.com…)
Looking Down (barelace.blogspot.com…)
Aazul… // The blue one… (camadecasal.blogspot.com…)
Anal Advocate (sexyukgirl.blogspot.com…)
Aurora Snow, Gauge and a Dildo. Pure Magic. (internetisforporn.com…)

Sex Advice / Sex Toys / Sexy Reviews

Oh Boys… May I Experiment on You? (sexeteria.blogspot.com…)
One Hefty Dose of Butch, Black, Silicone Bliss (suburbansexpot.blogs.com…)
Pretty Dumb Things (sugarclick.com…)
Sex Toys Must Have (creamonpants.com…)
Tips for Going Bare (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com…)
The Blind Jockey (sin.typepad.com…)

Sex Commentary / Sexual Politics

Lara Drops to a C Cup (sugarjoy.com…)
Porn You Wish They’d Make (sabrinainstockings.com…)
Sex in the News - Blog-a-Thon by Blank Noise Project (seskuality.com…)
2257 and Sweet Pink Activist Cunt (fullfrontalpolitics.com…)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

HNT #2 - Negative Effects

Yep, that's me, showing off my stomach again. It's actually my least favourite body part, but I seem to have found good camera angles for it.

I'm continuing the theme of adding effects to my photos. It makes me feel slightly less nekkid.

Also, thigh-highs are a woman's best friend.

That is all.


Resistance is futile

There sometimes comes a point, in a sexual relationship, when it ceases to be about fucking and sucking and impressing each other with bedroom skills, and starts being about each other. You stop worrying about whether you're pleasing him or if you're going to get off and just lose yourself in it.

It happened last weekend, for him and I. The room was filled with flickering candlelight, which makes skin look so lovely. He was on top of me, kissing me, his hard cock resting heavily on my stomach. He inched lower, dragging it down, down until it nudged my clit, smearing it with wetness. He rubbed the head around, teasing me, making me want it. I arched my back and pulled his hips towards mine. The tension in the air was thick with longing.

It snapped as he sank into me, with our half-strangled cries. Skin on skin, our first time without the distancing, deadening sensation of latex. So much more intimite, that implied trust. I didn't touch him, otherwise, nor him me; I simply watched in the mirror as he slowly, sweetly made love to me.

Afterwards, in that fuzzy, drowsy afterglow, I almost had to put my hands over my mouth to keep from telling him I loved him. It's only the sex, I know, but it feels real.

Friday, March 03, 2006


Wow. Seventeen comments on that last post. Hurrah for HNT! My little ole blog hasn't seen that many comments since, well, never!

Unfortunately something came to my attention yesterday that pretty much erased my good mood. I might blog about it, I might not. But for now, basically, meh.

Gonna take a break. Not too long. Just long enough to get my good mood back.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

HNT #1

I've wanted to jump on the HNT bandwagon for a while now, but I had hidden my digital camera away months ago and promptly forgotten where I'd put it. After searching for some time, I gave up a few days ago and resigned myself to a pictureless weblog for the forseeable future.

Of course, as soon as you stop looking for something, it usually appears.

Et voila, my very first HNT. I like the artsy charcoal effect; it disguises the crappiness of my 2.0 megapixel camera.